my october bell

Some days, all it takes is just for you to be transparent and real

my lot revelation

The Gospel bells give warning,

As they sound from day to day,

Of the fate which doth await them

Who forever will delay -

Escape thou for thy life;

Tarry not in all the plain.

Nor behind thee look, oh, never,

Lest thou be consumed in pain

my pulling of the 2010 plug

Another year has gone by and yet another lay rolled up before me, yet to be unfurled. I wonder what things are in store for me for the year 2011. Looking back, I would say that 2010 has truly been a good year for me. One of the best I've had for quite some time, God knows I needed it. Of course, there were mistakes made along the way, decisions acted upon which I'd sooner regret. After all, I'm only human.

There were things which I was struggling with for as long as I can remember......

Skeletons in my closet...

Ghosts in my past...

Chains of bondage holding me down...

I can vividly recall the feelings of helplesness, the feeling that I was on a self-destructive path which was spiralling ever so downwards. Never again do I want to set foot on that path, not through my own strength but by His grace and mercy. I am not perfect, and I never will be, but perfection never was and never will be what God desires. These words stuck by me in the closing phases of the year...

"Salvation that died just to set me free"

2010, a year which bequeathed me with such fond memories. I'll definitely miss it.

my belt prong level-up

It's finger trampoline time!

my new found friend

I am beginning to warm up to Mr. Shadows' world. Yup. I've decided that my shadow is a male.

I realised that in his world, everyone is the alike. No one is judged by what outfit they have on that day. No one is seen through the colours of their skin. They have about the same look. They have about the same possessions. They walk the same, they talk the same. Best of all, everyone in shadow world has about the same body figure! And also, if a cat has 9 lives, Mr. Shadows has more than he can spare!

They don't talk very much, he and his little friends. But they express themselves in ways that no man can. The one thing about Mr. Shadows is that, he never lets anyone (not even me) dictate what he does. Though he is attached to my physical being, he rarely does the things I do. He has a mind of his very own. In fact, he would do the exact opposite sometimes. It's just that, I rarely appreciate his presence.

I like Mr. Shadows. He keeps me company. When I'm strolling along in the sunshine on a Sunday evening, he would make a point to meet with me and not allow me to at all feel alone. He can be prideful and stretch tall and far away from me. But he doesn't. He stays close and keeps me company. He has seen me through many many things. Simply sailed the 7 seas with me.

=)

Silly of me to have once believed Enid Blyton that shadows are evil and wanted to find that pair of magical scissors to cut Mr. Shadows off.

I love Mr. Shadows.

my rude awakening

After months of not being at home, I celebrated my first day of staying in by lying on my long-forsaken bed the whole day; catching the whole 3 seasons of the last Airbender. I'm now proudly an Avatar graduate!

This few weeks out of home, I've to say, have been the most memorable ones this whole year round. Apart from the crazy Sarawak trip, the 6 days to National Conference - changed my life. I'd like to think that I experienced some crazy Bario revival in me right there! God has scraped the ignorance off my eyes and have graciously given me sight and the heart for Malaysia. Digress. A-totally-unrelated-casual conversation with Li Wen this noon prompted me a point to ponder; shouldn't ignorance be considered suicidal? Something about her koreking a hole to crawl in. Anyway, that woman argues not la.

I'm proud and eternally grateful to say that I'm anak Tuhan berbangsa Malaysia!! *wide grin sampai tak nampak mata*

Mata terbuka dan hatiku tersentuh bila ku melihat semua anak-anak Bapaku di syurga berkumpul (dan ber-cramming) di satu tempat menyembahnya dalam pelbagai Bahasa. Tidak kira warna kulit, tidak kira status, biar kaya atau miskin, gemuk ke kurus, cantik atau tidak, satu perkara yang pasti; Tuhan mendengar doa, rayuan dan penyembahan kami pada hari itu.

See, as I was marveling at His work these 2 days (AND at the same time on a mission to finish Avatar) I could see the correlation between the 2.

If you're not an Avatar fan, you wouldn't get this:

"Indians; Malays; Chinese; Dan lain-lain.......Long ago, the 4 groups of people lived together in harmony. Then everything changed, when the desire for political control attacked. Only LOVE, master of all the bodily desires, could stop them. But when the people needed LOVE the most, it vanished. Their selfish desires and hatred overwhelmed their beings. A hundred years passed, and slowly people discovers the truth and a generation who wants CHANGE rise up. Although the generation is semangated, this generation has alot to learn before they are ready to save anyone. But I believe.....WE CAN SAVE MALAYSIA!.......and the world"

Everyone needs some idealism to make the world go round. That's how Apple and Mahatma Gandhi came about anyway. =D

my caveman reminiscence

When you find yourself trapped for 26 hours straight (almost) in a middle-ranged Japanese-made car, there is no harm unleashing your darker and insane side -- cause that, my friend, is entertainment. For some of us, we were porcupine-shot by a million of those needles that got Sleeping Beauty to win her title. You'll never fail to find a Sleeping Beauty at every hour of the ride (and no, gender is not a matter for discussion) all pricked by the Eastern spindle.

All battled through equally hard and now that we are comfortably sitting our fannies on our beds and spinny chairs; embracing technology yet again with open arms (sadly, the truth is technology never really left us), we reminisce.

....that backseat never ending tickling (felt that this deserves a first mention)

....that 12 days of Christmas what my true love gave to me (of starving children, funky chickens, candle from Crabtree and Evelynn, disgusting monkeys and rotting maggots - which we got close to eating by the way, only that they aren't really maggots....)

....that movie marathon, that never really succeeded

....that seafood, oh all that glorious seafood!

....that 15 hours drive to Miri and 13 hours back

....that long sausage fluffy dog which licks my toe and everything else every so often

....that computer everyone fights for

....that old Pajero which served us so so so so well - bumpy and nauseating - nevertheless fun

....that hospitable and kind old couple

....that beach action-baction-suntanlotion with orange kayaks and big angry rowdy sexy waves

....that boy who dived into the water in the middle of the sea and lost his glasses, found a pair of sunglasses and lost those too BUT received a new pair of white glasses which coincidently matched his power

....that, all that Chia family history along the roads of Kuching (Fata Hotel, where his uncle had his honeymoon - classic)

....that Shell, 7-11, Petronas, sundry shopping for junkfood

....that Mary Sister, licking his wounds and you must jump and not kneel, crouch or stand in case of a flight emergency

....that swimming pool that ripped off my toenail

....that, all that beauty health, existentialism debate

....that LAUGHTER that is revived after every 5 seconds of silence

....that flying underwear (spare my life but I gotta put this in!)

....that souvenir shop hopping with every single one of those outlets having just about the same things

....that exquisite PORK satay slapped with THE most delicious peanut sauce

....that discovery

....that fat slug eating session

....that sleepiness

....that Cultural Village with superdoopertriplelooper awesome plant that resembles styrofoam; a piece from which I dropped and we spent 15 minutes digging for it

....that Fast and Furious "I wandah if euu noh" song played on a traditional Sarawakian xylophone

....that Band of Brothers marathon

....that high-pitch squealing otter that wants out from the horrendous Crocodile Farm

....that overfed slowpoke crocodile

....that fist sized prawn that ran out

....that farting, oh ALL that farting

....that Chinese park where Jared knelt and gave his flash offerings to the Cheng Lock

....that *sing* "Toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirrrty"

....that kolokmeekolokmeekolokmeekolokmeekolokmeekolokmee

.....that 8 days with the 7 most wonderful people *grin* .......priceless

They say friendship holds your hand tight and takes you through the slippery-est 8 kilometer wooden planks - even on a rainy day.